the strange world of laura

2006-11-30T02:04:00.000Z

"In Te, O Signore, ho posto la mia"

AHHH

2006-11-22T03:21:00.000Z

Some recent strange things that have happened...
a) 3 pairs of mystery jeans that don't belong to anyone have appeared in our kitchen!!
b) I left my glasses in the cinema!! Oops!
c) In school on mondays (i'm doing a placement - type thing) - they call me "miss foster"! How weird is that?!

AHHHH

1) It's 3am and I have a 2000 word essay due for tomorrow...just started! 1400 words to go!!

2) There's actual rain in my bedroom!! Yep, actually running down the walls!!

3) Yep

4) Having nightmares from eating cheese and/or chocolate at night

5) All fun!

Teeth

2006-09-16T11:27:00.000Z

I picked up half a random, yellow tooth today at work!! Luckily, this was quite a likely event, as I was cleaning a dentists' surgery. Otherwise, that would have been weird!
Stressed for no reason. Actually, there are reasons, but not worth explaining. But...this means an opportunity for stress-relieving method no. 31: my new, and effective, idea. Advantages - non addictive, inexpensive, no health risk (unless you over-do it)

1) Purchase fake exercise bike
2) Lay on bed, with legs off bed to cycle
3) Listen to Madonna's new (and not so good) dance music at same time

Feel better?

Thought so.

You may not want to try this one in public just yet - don't think the world is quite ready...

Words of Wisdom from Snoopy

2006-09-09T14:20:00.000Z

(and Woodstock!)

Have had a good weekend with my brother, we actually got on well for once!
Random quote from my nan - "There's a bird showering in the garden". Have been reminded of two strange things...

1) Once breathed in a fly, and it came out again - alive!!

2) Also, have been jogging and have run over a snake! Thought it was a piece of rope, until it moved beneath me!

Unrelated, but...I've never, ever cried at a film (except 'Iris', and that's excusable!), but there are some lines of some songs...particularly Snow Patrol's 'Run' and 'Chasing Cars' - how pathetic?! Have gone a bit 'quiet' at the moment, which is weird for me. Still loud sometimes - it won't last! Just keep being reminded that there's a lot of things that I fail at - and that I'm not a very nice person sometimes. Sometimes I'm horrible. Need to swallow my pride and apologise. That's hard though. And need to change...thankfully I'll have help in doing that, and from someone who can do the impossible! Also, found a link to the orphanage we visited and stayed at in Malawi...

http://freewebs.com/tiyamike-center/his-story.htm

My parents are away, so me and my bro are home alone with the dog, which is good :) Except that we just found corn-on-the-cob in our freezer that expired in 1995!!! That's extreme. My mum is crazy. I love her! We also found a plastic bag full of 8 frozen packets of Burger King BBQ sauce. I quote from my brother - "is anyone in this house mentally stable?" - except I guess that was directed to me too! Oops!

I love walking our greyhound. Makes me feel more human in a weird way!

I'm listening to the Crystal Maze theme tune! Gonna try to read 'A History of Music' before term starts cos there are some stupid gaps in my knowledge...obvious things that i really should know!

Talked to the hairdresser for the first time ever (normally I fake sleep cos they scare me!) - she was cool, and said she'd get my wavy hair back cos straight hair looked too 'feminine' and not 'natural' enough for me!! Not quite sure what she meant!! Lol I'm happy to have my mad hair back... and I probably can't be a music teacher unless I have that crazy look anyway...!

Malawi - wow!

2006-09-07T22:07:00.000Z

What can I say?

Here are some photos - my camera is old, so they're not the best! But hey...

Malawi was amazing.

The country was beautiful. The people we met in the places we visited were so welcoming to us. We were blessed so much by the Malawian people, and God moved. It was exciting, and challenging sometimes, but the whole team just worked together to help each other out.

The most important parts of the trip for me were when we visited Bangula orphanage, and the prison in Blantyre, one of the main towns. Both were scary experiences, but incredible - seeing people worship and follow God despite their situation and desperate need.

Everywhere we went, people sang for us if we asked, and SO beautifully. In the hospital, the orphanage - even the children from a very young age just naturally sang in harmony instead of unison! This amazed me!

Playing games with the children was also great fun! And singing with them. In one village though, they sang "Hey Lord" to us - they already knew it! We were then told that Soul Survivor Watford had been there, so they had probably taught it - how random is that?!

The safari at the end was excellent - and we got to see such awesome animals and sunsets! And a view of mountains when the clouds were below us. And the southern star constellations! And a crescent moon on its side!

So - an amazing time indeed.

Camp

2006-09-07T21:42:00.000Z

Yeh being an 'officer' (!) at camp was fun. Some random photos...

1) Some of the new girls at the beach

2) Re-using my nun's costume, with Floss, a 70 year old punk rocker for a day

3) Me and Pat, my emergency solicitor! And a very good friend to me :)

4) The people I got arrested with in Devon - spot the "dog" or rabbit in the middle

Love it Hate it Love it Hate it

2006-08-16T11:03:00.000Z

Are the malaria tablets effecting my mind yet?
wwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyy I don't know!
Just as I was deciding never, ever to live at home again, my bro has enriched my life with a clever game. He didn't tell me about it till after. Ooh, he's going to Southampton uni! Yeh!

Two stories follow - one makes me feel old, the other very young!

1) "Hi, I'm Laura and I'm 30"

- Today I served myself in Tescos!!! WHAT?!! Yep, you get to scan your own stuff!! Isn't that cool?!

2) "Hi, I'm Laura and I'm 10"

Setting: Kitchen, room, or other popular dancing area in house
Required clothes: bright pink silk dressing gown
Instructions: "Face the wall and do your craziest dance ever"
Result: Funny video of sister singing, hopping, spinning arms and kicking legs to put on internet and use as a future bribe.

Try it on your siblings...before they do it to you! NO!!!
Yet again, I have been fooled.

Only 4 days till Malawi... do I get to go talk to the pilot if it's my first plane ride?!!

Ooh I forgot...Madonna mentioned a Malawi appeal in her concert!! How random is that?! Yeh!

Avoidance of Fanatics...George, Madge & Michael (again)

2006-08-02T21:44:00.000Z

Hehe wahay!! Jen, Fi, me and the 'legend of a keyboard tutor' Mr Rob Court, are gonna be on tv!!! Well, in the background of a random programme about music. We're famous!!!

Today I was told off for doing things "randomly" and not cutting down gradually - that is me!!! I am random!!! Let me be free!!! (Nothing suspicious or illegal, I might add)!

Old trainers have been found for the purpose of stream scrambling, raft building and caving at the Camp I help with in Dartmoor next week...EEK I LOVE these things. I think I am most happy when below ground level. Perhaps I should get married underground. Yeah that would be COOL!! As everyone keeps talking about weddings... I have recently chosen a George Michael song that is SO perfect for ailse walking, and would make the whole thing very funny (although Jen said that my wedding would then be a farce). Husband, whoever you are, we're having that song. No questions!! Want to start arguing already?!! On similar theme, a nurse asked me three times today if I was pregnant. No, no, no! Also asked for the fourth time if I have syphilis!! Er, NO! Again!!! Why do I get asked these random, often insulting questions?!!

Madonna was AMAZING!!! She still looks stunning. And is a genius! A little (hmmm) deluded and verging on being far too controversial, but hey, the music is what matters! I have the same theory for Michael Jackson - who I also LOVE! Music is not about agreeing with the person who wrote it! Anyway, she was fab, we danced and sang and avoided the fanatics at the front. Loving her new stuff, and she also sang some old classics...Lucky Star (!), Ray of Light, Substitute for Love, and one of my favourites... La Isla Bonita! Being in Cardiff for a long weekend was also great :) YEH life is good!

Songs

2006-07-25T13:10:00.000Z

I took these photos out of my window, except for the last one which was taken up a mountain!
Yesterday, on the second hottest day of the year, I was also doing the second hottest activity ever...hoovering. It was ridiculous!!!

Some new songs are even more amazing in the heat...

'She moves in her own way', the Kooks
'Unfaithful', Rihanna
'You Give me Something', James Morrison
'Get together', Madonna
'Heartbeats', Jose Gonzalez
'You're all I have', Snow Patrol
and an old classic...
'Golden Brown', the Stranglers

I LOVE these songs, they are amazing!

Today I found that letter that says..."We are looking into the music course that you requested for your son, Michael"

Heat

2006-07-20T22:33:00.000Z

On the hottest day ever, I was in the hottest place ever - aka the Tube. 47 degrees C, 117 F!!

Please not again!

2006-07-16T23:06:00.001Z

Ridiculously, I can now add another thing to the list of damage i have caused to other peoples' houses or possessions whilst cleaning or ironing...

1) the melting-of-the-school-trouser-leg incident
2) the burning of the Minnie Mouse t-shirt
3) the "oops i chipped your newly painted wall with the iron" scenario
4) the one where they come home to find me crying outside the door cos I've snapped the door key in half and got it jammed in the lock
and a new addition...
5) the "I've just scratched your wooden floor with the hoover" situation

Why do these things happen to me?!

Also, my watch has got half an hour faster and I didn't realise till today!! I've been losing time!! Does this mean that some of my life was stolen by time? Who knows!

Running into a Two Ronnies Sketch

2006-07-13T23:43:00.000Z

Some kids sang the Duracell Battery advert song to me when i ran past them.
It was kinda embarrassing.

Someone I served in the shop today said that it was like a sketch from the 'Two Ronnies'...

Man: "I need a brush"
Me: "A clothes brush, sir?"
Man: "No, a brush for the floor"

Man: "I need a washer"
Me: "For a tap, sir?"
Man: "No, for a screw"

Man: "I need sandpaper"
Me: "For a bird cage, sir?"
Man: "No, for an electric sander"

This is like comedy tv actually happening in real life. Score!! Except when you are the joke!!!

Cars and Planes

2006-07-10T23:25:00.000Z

Hehe! Three random thoughts of the week:

1) I genuinely can't remember how to drive. I have my brothers car for a while, and I can't remember whether you want to start in neutral or first, what to do at roundabouts etc. EEK!!! It's been a while, but this is BAD!! Need to remember before being set loose with a jeep in Malawi.

2) In 6 weeks I will go on a 10 hr plane journey and I haven't ever been on a plane, or seen one up close and not in the sky!! I am SO excited about the plane!!!

3) Jose Gonzalez is FAB...he just did a Kylie cover on the radio - and did it well! I am trying to learn his 'heartbeats' song (the advert one apparently - I haven't watched tv for a long time!) - but it's hard cos he's retuned his guitar!

4) Have job in hardware store back...which includes sorting hay and counting peanuts! Don't ask!

Disappeared!

2006-07-07T10:01:00.000Z

Haha no one can ever read this cos my blog doesn't work anymore!!!
If you're reading this, don't tell MI5, they will come get me.

Smurf

2006-06-30T00:44:00.000Z

Yesterday my mum said,
"you should keep your dolls house for your children"
which is a very scary thought and should not have been vocalised!
I hate sorting through my stuff...i need a man to be harsh and just throw it all away!!! Why do girls have this stupid maternal instinct to keep stuff for their kids? It's foolish...i bet they won't even care about our old stuff.
Why am i even discussing children?!! NO!!!
My camp-in-Devon leader's name is officially "Smurf" - yeh! - as they said that "Farmboy" was inappropriate...!
I'm planning to re-use my nun's costume for the day we dress up and hide in the village of Widecome, near Dartmoor, as i will blend in well i think. The girls will never find me! Last year i wore the blonde wig, which was not so subtle.

Height

2006-06-22T01:39:00.000Z

I have got taller!! I am now 5"2. YEH!!!

My Grandad

2006-06-13T21:53:00.000Z

Nearly everyone in Watford knows my nan and grandad, Chas and Norma (what fab names!), cos my grandad talks to everyone he meets in the street.
I found a very cool birthday card for his 74th...
I think he will like this!! He drives 20mph max!!
Yesterday we he discovered that he'd been using lavender room spray instead of body spray for 4 days!! The writing was too small to read so he just used it cos it was on his shelf!!
I love my grandad :)
Speaking of motorbikes... once I played the flute at the local canal music festival, but the school mini-bus broke down, and had to be towed up a hill by a hardcore leather-dressed biker. It was amazing!

Summer

2006-06-12T09:30:00.000Z

Over the weekend, two things were thrown over me:
1) A bottle of water out of someone's upstairs window as I walked along Letty Street
2) A bottle of vodka by some random idiot in the street
Haha! Some random things I LOVE
- the sea - BBQs - having breakfast in the garden
- fireworks - being on a boat - the park
You know you can send texts to house phones? An unnamed person (Nick!!) sent this text by mistake, which my parents picked up last week...
"Hey Laura. You not been scared enough to text me yet? How's life in gay Wales?"
My dad did not find this funny!
Also today, my grandad has made friends with a policeman, who came round their house today whilst on duty and sat next to me on the sofa. It was weird - that's what it must feel like to be arrested!!! Eek!

Stolen Identity

2006-06-07T16:40:00.000Z

Someone with the "same name" as me was given my pay from work!!!
What a JOKE!
This is me before i 'accidently' killed Farmboy (goldfish no. 1). Baby Smith ( goldfish no.2) is now for sale, for 50p - any takers?

Prayer

2006-05-31T11:07:00.000Z

Hmmm...
Wait for it!! Is this a serious blog from miss foster?! Surely not!
Recently I've been learning that sometimes it's hard to pray when bad things are happening to the people you care about. And it's hard to pray when you're angry with someone cos you feel like you can't talk to God about it. But anger in itself isn't wrong, and God wants us to come to him, and he cries with us when we screw things up.
I've also learnt a few less important facts...
1) An electric drill cannot get through a plastic cork-screw
2) If you weigh yourself on scales on a carpet, you will weigh 2.5 stone more than normal. Have a 1o minute panic, then try again on a level surface. Then watch someone else doing the same thing without telling them...hehe!!

Dead birds

2006-05-29T15:32:00.000Z

At 1 am last night I got quite a scary text from an unknown number. It said,
'A verb is a "doing word" x x'
EEK!!!
Is that a threat?! Have I done, or not done, something to someone?
I'm surprisingly worried by this random message.
On Saturday I worked in a pub described as 'one of the most famous rugby pubs in the world', but it also had four bouncers and two policemen to provide constant protection for the staff! So it was quite an 'interesting' weekend! Especially when I got two things thrown at me....
1) A dead bird on a stick
2) An inflatable woman, like the ones in Only Fools and Horses!!

Guns

2006-05-23T16:21:00.000Z

Hehe!

Two things that have been said to me by a stranger this week:
1) You look like you're carrying a gun
2) Only use this if you have a sense of impending doom

...on seperate occasions I might add!

People are strange.

Man or Rat?

2006-05-21T11:33:00.000Z

Three boys (my brother included) have descended on our house for the weekend for the Watford/Leeds play-off final... (no, I don't know what this means!)
COME ON WATFORD!
But our house smells of boys!! I could never live with a man for this reason!!
Although to be fair, this is marginally better than the rat smell.
So maybe I have already experienced a worse case scenario!
A man or a rat?
Tough call.

Trains

2006-05-15T17:58:00.000Z

Tomorrow I'm going to book a ticket to see MADONNA!!!!!!!
I love her. So would be very excited if i could get a ticket. On Fri I saw Texas, and the Upper Room, whoever they are (kind of like the Editors...?)
YEH
Although the price means that I am going to need to work in union again...possibly in Rubber Duck tonight! NO!! Wohoo the joys of uni employment :) At least it's not a boring job....
Today Sarah saw an opera, which reminded me of the time when our music dept at school had a trip to see Carmen, and so a whole class travelled by tube....and my teacher, Mr Weaver, was the last to get on. While he was leaning out the door to check everyone was on, the door started to close, so I held it. But you can't hold things forever, so I had to LET GO!! This meant that his head was squashed between two very fast moving train doors (the fact I'd been holding them gave them extra momentum!)...but then, once we got his head out of the doors, he had two massive black lines down either side of his face too!! Oops. My mistake!!
My most used phrase is 'I don't think I've thought this through'.
Which doesn't even make that much sense. Hmmmm

Dreams

2006-05-08T12:54:00.000Z

Last night I dreamt that my brother bought a massive BLUE TRUCK. It was cool.
It's 2am and I'm in the computer room eating a cheese sandwich. That's just wrong.
I think I saw a mouse run across my carpet but I only saw it in a reflection, so I can't be sure.

Trousers

2006-04-26T10:36:00.001Z

Today: my house - round Roath park lake - back to house in 30 mins!!! Come on!!! Bring on the marathon, grrrrrrrr!! Except 1/2 hr is the most I can do...
Hmmm I rediscovered two cool things this morning...they have a common theme...
1) shower caps. geeky? yes. effective? yes. Say no more.
2) mens' shower gel. Cos WHY ON EARTH would you want to use "floral" shower gel if you've been running?!!!
And, for tradition, a story....
I often lose things but lost a LOT of things within a short space of time last summer. And, coincidentally, my trousers were feeling rather 'heavy' (!). A slow realization dawned that turn-up trousers have the ability to collect things. A small pair of scissors, an eyeliner pencil, a hair clip and a pound coin were all recovered!
You have been warned!! Always check your trousers!!

Swings

2006-04-21T16:01:00.000Z

Here is a random photo of me jumping in the sea!!!
Yesterday I was running round the park and I saw some.....
SWINGS!!!!!!!
It was raining so no one saw.
Amazing!!! I recommend swing therapy to anyone. It was like heaven. Simple things...!
Have been reminded of some more random incidents too...
- the old 'classic' story of ten spoons of coffee in cold water before my R.E. exam....don't do it people!!! I went crazy and had to be escorted out of the exam room, I couldn't even see the paper. Then they offered me a cup of tea!!!! I got a U. My first U!!!
- another quote from my grandad..."Why does the day get lighter when the clocks change, as the time doesn't effect the weather?"
- and from my maths teacher..."the last time you concentrated was in 1985, when you were learning to walk"
hehehe
Will add more stories as my memory prompts. Ooh that could be a quote. Last week I thought of a brilliant quote,
"I could never be a man, cos I'd have to hate myself!"
But I've been told to 'tone it down' on the feminism front, so I'll pretend that I don't agree with it to keep certain people happy!!
Have just remembered another...
- the day I breathed in a fly, only for it to fly back out again!! Wow the wonders of nature!!
I just thought it was snowing here in Watford... I thought it was strange, but still exciting...only to realise it was just blossom falling from a tree!!!! How embarrassing!!!
Till next time....

Work

2006-04-20T00:46:00.000Z

Hello!! Or good night! Or morning!
WOW this is strange!
Life is strange sometimes!!!
Never wanted a blog but then there have been a few requests recently that I start documenting some of those ridiculous things that could only happen to me...highs and lows or what?!! Good to have something to write on when you can't sleep though!
Yeh today has been cool - have done no work, seen Jen :), Mary, and some school friends at pub woohoo I LOVE the holidays, feels like summer already!!! And I love a glass of wine... :)
(Random photo....here is my beautiful greyhound, Gracie...and a football!)
YEH so here begins a little story..................
I will not update often, i am too sporadic,
but when i do, brace yourselves fellow humans.
Of late....
- quote from my doctor...'find a big, scary man to take to the hospital with you'
- update on the dog...has just licked my guitar. Yuk!
- have been learning jazz electric guitar with my dad and my uncle!
- classic quote from my grandad..."yet another relative to crawl out of the woodwork at the sound of money"!
- have just been reminded of some previous work-related laura idiocies...
1) leaving keys for controlled drugs cupboard in the back door of the chemist where I used to work, meaning that Class A drugs were freely available for one night only...
2) setting fire to the bin in the pub where I used to work by not putting out contents of ash tray...EASILY done!!!
3) warning a woman in chemist that she shouldn't take painkillers if she was pregnant...only to discover she wasn't!!!
4) comment by random man in chemist to 'not let my boyfriend see me in my oversized uniform'!! How rude!!
5) my inability to make Irish coffee almost getting me sacked.. over 5 attemps for one person!! ("you're a nice girl but you can't make coffee")!!
oh man enough of these painful memories for one night.
I loved work.
I quit four times and then kept returning.
Loved it :)